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I WAS born a zillion (Zellion?) years ago, in a dimension all my own. As a little kid in little school, I drew Superman a lot. I also recall, that once a week I’d have my name called by someone at the classroom door, and I had to go off to some other room where there were a few other kids, and look at shapes an’ splodges. Or somethin’. HA! I remember casually relatin’ this to Ginger (Wildhearts) as we were walkin’ to the shops once; he stopped dead in his tracks, turned an’ faced me with a comically incredulous expression, and bellowed, “YOU WENT TO SPECIAL SCHOOL!”
But it wasn’t special school. I was just bein’ treated special... at a school.
Then, I remember in junior school years, openin’ the front door to a smartly dressed man and a lady (all a bit X-
Also at this time, I used to snip out and collect a comic-
At big boy school, I was a happy loner. I’d go in, get a mark for registration, leave, swing by the second hand book shop in Kentish Town (no longer there), buy a bumper-
Oh, and I failed all my ‘O’ levels. In art, I drew a New York backstreet when I was supposed to draw a still life pic of piled up stuff from a bathroom, and for English Lit I wrote a piece on the Incredible Hulk instead of Huckleberry Finn. Not big. Not clever. Don’t try this at home, kids.
At fifteen, I was technically too young to leave school, but it got overlooked on the technicality that my birthday would happen in the summer holidays. Next thing I’m workin’ in a warehouse. Packin’ parcels. Loadin’ lorries. Readin’ Marvel comics at breaks. It was alright, actually. Then a kid/guy a few years older than me there, John, got me into Alice Cooper, Bowie and music papers. Sounds, Melody Maker and NME. NME had this druggy strip called ‘The Lone Groover’ . And this character had T-
The first thing you could call a ‘gig’ that I went to, was punk band The Vibrators at a rock pub called the Lord Nelson in Holloway Road. I was totally into rock, now. I even sent an idea for a comic-
At some point later, in-
Ah. Riiiiight. Me, I was learnin’ all the time.
It was round this point, ‘say 81, that I got roped into becomin’ frontman for my brother Kev’s punk band called The Mandies, who would soon become Marionette (see Marionette link) and eventually release one highly praised nutter of an album -
Later, in ‘84, while still in Marionette, and despite ‘friends’ tellin’ me I was wastin’ my time, I sent a comic-
Marionette split in ‘85. But, around ‘87, I slowly, but surely, did bits of writing for Kerrang! Which became more and more, and by about ‘88, I was doin’ gig and album reviews and main features! It was fuckin’ FANTASTIC! And I was gettin’ tons of praise
for writin’ like a drunken gonzoid space cadet! Although, if anyone DARED call me a ‘journalist’, I would instantly correct ‘em, an’ point out that I was, in fact, a professional rock fan.
The ultimate thing, though, was gettin’ the absolute HONOUR to play tag-
Come early ‘90s, I somehow ended up sharin’ a flat with Ginger of The Wildhearts. Now THAT was MAD. You know how you buy a pint of milk a day? Well, we bought a bottle of whiskey. Even in the wee hours, when we switched to coffee -
Come the New Millennium, I was scripting (note: not drawing) a DAILY sitcom style comic strip called Metal-
And these days? I do Pandora. Still. And it was my ambition. To have my own published comic strip character. And T-
But, now there is. Pandora has her very own T-
So, am I finally satisfied?
No... COS NOW I WANT A FUCKIN’ ACTION FIGURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!